A Second Date with Bollywood

I just got back from my second date with Bollywood. We met for a movie, “The Hangover.” I must say that this is not a good second date movie, it was full of stupid humor and it was a little more graphic that I would have expected for a second date. It also left little for us to talk about after dinner. However, the rest of the date went well. Because Bollywood grew up in India, coming to the states to go to college, there are definitely some things that get lost in translation. It is not a language barrier, but I don’t think that he always gets my sarcasm and I also wonder if there are some cultural differences that play into this. I have a hard time reading him and have a hard time knowing if he is interested in me. While we were at dinner we talked but, he is a little shy and one of the things I find endearing is that he has these sleepy eyes and he is a slow blinker.

Bollywood walked me back to my car, which I took to be a good sign, but I also realized that it also could be one of those cultural niceties. However, at the car he gave me a really nice, sweet kiss. It was one of those kisses where he lightly touched my cheek. However, right afterward he backed away and said good-by. I told him that once I get back from San Francisco I would love to get together. Bollywood is very nice and very sweet; he is someone I would love to see again.

Two Timing?

Last Saturday I made a date with a second e-harmony match- Bollywood. In my memory, I cannot remember ever seeing two guys at the same time, or even being interested in two guys at the same time although Spicy Jalapeño told me that I always have a backup waiting in the wings. Regardless, I was feeling a little weird about the coffee date because at this time The Wrestler was still in the picture.

I met Bollywood in Boulder for a cup of coffee and I actually really liked him. He is an Engineer but has a love of the outdoors and theater. In fact he grew up in India, watching the Bollywood films with his family, so that is where his appreciation for theater comes from. The only downside to the date, and I don’t know if I necessarily would consider it a negative is the communication barrier. I think that some of the nuisances of the language were not translatable- especially some of my sarcasm. All in all, I thought that the date went well; we had coffee and then walked along Pearl Street Mall. However, at the end of the date when I told him I would be interested in seeing him again I didn’t get a definitive answer back from him so I walked away a little unsure. So imagine my surprise when he emailed me on Sunday night to see how babysitting the nieces went and to ask if we played Legos. I was encouraged by the fact that he remembered that I had told him that Legos were my toy of choice growing up, but disappointed that he didn’t suggest that we go out again. I have come to realize that I don’t do well with uncertainty and that I am an action oriented person. I need to be able to find a place where I am ok with this unknown and just ride the ride until the destination becomes clearer.

The End of the Match

I have been out with The Wrestler about five times and I will admit that he was growing on me. At the same time, I was having some reservations. As I told my lady the other day, I was worried that this relationship would not be sustainable. I was afraid that at the end of the day our values will be too different. Regardless, we were having a great time when we are together- laughing, talking and cooking and so I was thinking that while this might not last, at least I am having a good time!

After I got home from Boston a week ago on Friday I went over to The Wrestler’s house for dinner and I thought we had a good time but over the week I didn’t hear from him. Even though I said before that I didn’t know if this relationship was sustainable, it made me sad that I hadn’t called or sent me any text messages. Normally I wouldn’t be concerned if I didn’t hear from a guy for two or three days but for the first few weeks The Wrestler would send me two or three text message a day to make plans or just to say hi and to tell me I was beautiful. Since The Wrestler had been so attentive at the beginning I was getting worried that he was loosing interest.

I finally decided to stop the crazy talk in my head and send The Wrestler a text message ask him to go to City Park Jazz with me. I was excited because he responded immediately and said that if he got back from Grand Junction in time he would like to go.

So last night, at 5:00 pm I found myself sitting on my couch still waiting to hear from him. Here I was, already for a picnic, hell I even made homemade hummus and brownies and I was stood up—not even a phone call!!

I am actually really pissed off about being stood up and have been in a foul mood all day. I am having trouble chalking it up to another one of my crazy dating experiences…

The Wrestler

I have been out with The Wrestler three times which is not a lot, but considering it was within a week time it also seems significant. I met the Wrestler on a dating sight. I don’t know exactly what it was that attracted me to him because he is not what I would consider “my type.”

The Wrestler is the complete opposite from my last boyfriend: outgoing, active, funny, all in all he is a character. The Wrestler can and will talk to anyone, from the waters and waitresses to the random people sitting next to us at a concert. He compliments me all the time, he likes to be physical by holding hands with me and the such. One good characteristic that the Wrestler shares with my last boyfriend is flexibility. He is easy going about plans and doesn’t stress when we play things by ear.

The first time we met he took me out to this delicious Japanese restaurant. The best sign was that at the end of the night he paid for meal. We sat for over four hours drinking wine, eating and talking. The second time we went out for margaritas. Finally, on July 4th he took me to Red Rocks. He made an amazing picnic. All three dates have been a lot of fun and I really enjoy being around him even though we are very different. It has been so refreshing to be out with someone who actually “dates.” I have been out on too many dates where the guys are not on their best behavior, don’t treat, or are just looking to get laid. I really felt like I was being taken out on a date!

He seems to have many of the characteristics I say I am looking for: a good job which is legal, a sense of humor, open, outgoing, etc. So what is my hesitation? Why am I still holding some of myself back and not fully embracing this potential relationship. I guess this is part of dating, trying different relationships on and figuring out if what you think you like really fits.

The Guy I Don't Want to Date

I was at the carwash and there was a guy wearing gray fatigue patterned shorts, a bright read shirt, keens and sunglasses perched on his head. While the rest of us were hanging out waiting patiently for our cars to be finished he was standing over his car directing them in a loud voice to get the inside grooves of the car. He spoke loudly and repeated himself over and over the way some people do when they assume someone cannot speak English and if they do they are too dumb to understand the meaning behind the words. “Inside, inside the grooves…” he kept repeating. Then he stepped back, but not ot where the rest of us sat, but just a few steps back with his arms folded as if he was the supreme supervisor over the clean of his car. When the car was close to ready, he didn’t wait for them to call him over; he jumped into his car and started to drive away. There was a petite little woman still trying to finish drying off his car and I am surprised he didn’t run her over.

I might not know exactly what I am looking for, but I definitely know what I am NOT looking for—I hope that is half the battle!